Mother's Day Project

Wow!!  It sure has been a while since my last post.  Like over a month.  And so much has happened in the last month.  Where to begin???  I guess with Mother's Day. 

I get the Family Fun magazine every month and I really enjoy the articles and the crafts they have.  The crafts are generally inexpensive and easy enough for Cristyn.  So for Mother's Day, I decided to start a new tradition.  Our old tradition was to always go home and spend the weekend at Mama's house and have yummy food and good company.  That has been a bit of a challenge now that we live in Savannah.  I go home and spend time with Mama quite often so this year I decided I would stay in Savannah and spend the day with my girls....no traveling, no plans, just a relaxing day doing a mother-daughter project.  The project we (well I guess I) picked was making bird baths using a clay pot and saucer and mosaic tiles.

I had it all planned in my head.  While Lizzie napped, the big girls and I would design each of their mosaic tile bird baths and have a wonderful time while doing it.  I kind of wanted this to be a girl only event, but Parker didn't really take the hint so he helped too.  The only reason I wanted it girls only is because I knew he would want to do it his way and not agree with their design and cause an argument....and he did :).  I should have bought enough supplies so that EACH of my big kids (Parker included) could have their own.  Anywho...I digress. 

Parker was sweet enough to mix the mortar and set us up a neat little area with his saw horses on the back patio.  We each had a putty knife and it was just as I had planned for about the first 5 minutes.  After those five minutes of bliss of me watching my girls interact together without fighting Jaycee dropped her design on mosaic tiles on the patio and big crocodile tears began to flow.  Bless her heart she worked so hard making this design and it was super cool I might add.  After we picked up the pieces and tweaked the design to make up for the broken pieces we began to put the mortar down.  After a few minutes, Jaycee, being the too cool for school pre teen she is, decided she was done and went to ride her bike and left me to finish hers. Cristyn, still my sweet tender hearted baby, doesn't like to leave Mama by herself and stayed with me until we finished both.  We talked about whatever was on her mind and I praised her for what a good job she was doing and I loved every minute of it.

The bird baths are now complete and in my flower bed in the front yard.  Although the day didn't turn out exactly as planned, I still enjoyed every minute.  If anything, it reminded me how fast they are growing and they won't be little much longer.  It also showed me that no matter what, I think Cristyn will always be my baby.  Hope you enjoy the pictures.

Until next time.....

To Grow or Not to Grow??

Ok so lately I have had something weighing heavy on my heart. It's not a decision that has to be made right now, but my obsessive (and unhealthy, I know) personality/brain will no let this issue go until I have some kind of resolution. The question of the hour is whether or not to have another child. 

I know what you are thinking already, ummm...isn't your baby only four months old??  I know she is four months old and I want to cherish every moment with her. But on the other hand....she's already four months old!  Where has the time gone?  I have enjoyed every minute of her since she made her debut and I believe that is because I am at a different place in life (as I have mentioned before). I know the decision shouldn't involve any one but God, Parker and myself but what I want is advice from those who have been there. Whether you have  several children or whether you grew up with several siblings. 

I never pictured myself as the mother of more than two, but I also planned to marry at 24 and have my first child at 27, be an attorney and stay in Valdosta. So it looks like my plan is out the window haha!

Parker and I both say we are done when asked about it, but deep down we both are unsure. Don't get me wrong, I don't want to be in competition with Michelle Duggar, but something within me feels as if I am not finished. On the other hand, my oldest is already 9 years older than my youngest.  The main reason people tell me I need to try for another is to "get that boy". While I would be absolutely ecstatic if we had a boy, I would be just as excited for another girl.

I don't know when to say when, but I do see myself when my children are grown having a room full of grandkids for holidays and birthdays, etc. 

I generally only ask a select few for advice, but I'll try my luck with this one...

Give me your thoughts, pros or cons to having more children or let me know if I am supposed to feel that sense of finality and know that I am done!

Until next time....

Lesson learned...

This has been a super long week.  Not only are the girls with their dad this week for Spring Break, but I have been dealing with a sick little girl to boot.  Where shall I begin…?
 
I think I go through phases; Parker likes to call them mood swings, every few months.  Maybe it is because I know I am heading home this weekend, or because I am missing my girls.  Who knows, it probably is mood swings….  Nonetheless this week has been particularly rough.  The baby started to get sick on Monday.  I stayed home with her and the doctor told me it was nothing to worry about based on her symptoms and she didn’t need to be seen so on Tuesday I sent her back to daycare.  Of course I worried about her all day…she got worse by Wednesday so I stayed with her again and we went to see the doctor.  I thought surely they couldn’t know what was wrong with her without seeing her.  Turns out the poor thing has a double ear infection.  Bless her little heart.  This is the first time she has been sick.
 
Anyway, I find on days when I am home alone or have a good bit of quiet time, my brain begins to wander.  So all of the emotions I had been feeling the past few days came together and I was really just off my game.  I had already planned to have lunch with a few girlfriends from my old firm so I kept my lunch date with them.  You don’t understand—it is like pulling teeth to get these girls to keep a date during busy season.  And I thought it would be a good deviation from the pity party I was having at home for myself.  These girls always make me laugh and I knew they would give me good advice and take my mind off of things.  I won’t go into the details of everything, but in a nutshell, they said to me, “you are a control freak (which I know), and some people are never going to be who you want them to be.  There is nothing you can do…don’t expect it from them and then you won’t be let down or upset.”  Here I was thinking something was wrong with me for wanting someone to be “family” and do what I know my Mama would.  The minute they do not, I want to run back to what I know as family. What I wasn’t getting is that their version and my version are not the same and that is okay.   I long for the support system that I had when the girls were little, that I had when I lived close to my mom and sister.  This is a struggle for me everyday.  I continue to have this same pity party regularly, when all I need to do is remember one of Mama’s favorite verses, Jeremiah 29:11.  I may not know why I am here (literally and geographically) but He does.  I also realized that I do have a support system here.  They may not be family in the sense we are related, but I have made many friends since I have been here and they have become my family.  I would say I have definitely learned a lesson this week that I hope to pass on…
 
So with that said, I am ready for a wonderful weekend with my family back home and I can’t wait to see you all!
 
Until next time….  

While I'm on a roll...

I left off without mentioning much about my husband.  Parker is truly my soul mate.  We have had our ups and downs over the last few years.  All I can say is he gets me, he really gets me.  Some days (most days recently) I feel like I am going crazy and he keeps me sane.  He just rolls with whatever... God bless him for that.  With all of the girls in the house he really doesn't have a choice but to roll with it!

On a more serious note, he is an amazing father and husband.  He has been an excellent father from the beginning.  He took on the responsibility of being a step-father and never missed a beat.  He does homework, science projects, and reads to Cristyn at night.  He even took care of the girls for nine weeks while I was away in training.  Recently he has added one more nightly duty, He gives Lizzie a bath every night and has deemed it "Daddy Time". God could not have put a better man in my life....

He is working so hard to provide for all of us and I do not tell him enough how very proud I am to be his wife.

I love you Daddy!

Okay, so now that the introductions are out of the way, I'm excited about what is to come.....

Introducing Me...

So I am starting this blog because several of my Facebook friends have one and it seems to be a good outlet and a wonderful way to keep track of all of the precious little moments that pass by so fast.  So here goes....

The past ten years have been full of ups and downs and have shaped me into who I am today.  I got pregnant as a senior in high school.  I tried to keep it quiet until after graduation but wasn't successful...  Anywho, I got married two months after high school graduation and the real world hit me smack in the face.  I had my first baby girl five months later.  Looking back, I didn't cherish the moments like I should have.  I stayed home with her for a year and then decided to go to college.  Fast forward two years, I was halfway through my undergrad degree and low and behold I was pregnant...again.  I had my second baby girl in July of 2005 and was back in class 4 weeks later.  I was bound and determined not to be a statistic (not bc of what others thought, but for me....well honestly a little of both).  I digress.  So at the ripe age of 21, I was the mother of two beautiful girls, a wife, a massage therapist and a student.  The only way I managed all of it was by having an amazing support system that consisted of my mom, my husband (now my ex), my sister, and my then mother in law.  They are all responsible for my college education and I will forever be grateful.

I won't bore you with all the details so we will fast forward to today.  I have been divorced, moved away from home, remarried, and given birth to my third daughter all in the last four years.  I have grown so much in these last few years I can't even begin to describe my transformation.  I was raised in a Baptist church but never really "got it" until I was fortunate enough to meet a COG Pastor that Parker introduced me to in Valdosta (props to you Pastor Ryan).  Since then it has been very important to me to have a home church to raise my girls in and to make sure they "get it" early on. 

I am married to my soul mate and have learned to cherish every day with my girls. 

Jaycee is nine and I see the young woman she is growing to be and it is bittersweet.  I can't believe how fast my baby girl is growing right before my eyes and I kick myself for being so focused on ME and school early on.  I think I thought I had to prove that I could make something of myself and that I wouldn't be happy until I did.  I also wanted to "lead by example" for her.  I was more concerned with her seeing my example of being  "accomplished" rather than how she viewed me as a mother.   She is absolutely gorgeous, she looks like her Nana, she is such a loving and concerned, level headed, rational child.  I worry about her worrying too much. LOL  She is truly a blessing and has taught me so much the last nine years.

Then there is Cristyn :).  She is five years old and is truly a ham and super sassy.  She looks and acts just like I did as a child.  She is absolutely hilarious mostly because what comes to her mind comes out of her mouth. For the longest time, I thought she was my last...she is fun loving and has a free spirit and will always be my "baby".

I had "Baby Lizzie" (as my husband calls her) on 01/11/11.  I feel like God has given me this chance to be the mother I want to be from the get go and I am not letting any little moments pass unnoticed.  She has been my best baby thus far but I think that is because by baby number three, everything is old hat. 

I look forward to everyday with my husband and girls and what God has in store for us....

To Be Continued......